omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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