is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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