laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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