Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
