What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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