Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
