thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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