Can Purell be used as lube?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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