the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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