I love black thongs
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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