dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize