My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
