I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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