OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize