Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
