Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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