I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
