y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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