I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
