i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Found the puke drawer
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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