wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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