i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
