I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
