I feel like I'm in dance class right now
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
