But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
