am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
