I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
