I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
