Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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