u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
