I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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