I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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