so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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