party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
