There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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