Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
