I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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