You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
