I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
