i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
how does that bad decision feel?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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