Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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