Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
