why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
