I wish I could punch you in the face.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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