She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
