I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
