are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
