Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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