Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
