found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
