Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
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