am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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