the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize