Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
