I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
