wat bout pragnant strippers??
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
