This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
