This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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