I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
