if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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