i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize