I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
